My Cliche Fun

It was one of those boring afternoons when time crawls and unexciting work piles up. A colleague and I decided to walk up to the cafeteria to get something to drink. As we sat sipping hot milk-less masala chai, my ears caught strains of a popular 90s song. I turned around to find Kishan-Kanhiya, a Rakesh Roshan flop production from the 90s, on the 42’’ LCD screen. I promptly changed the position of my chair coz this was gonna be fun!

The movie, which is based on the popular bollywood concept of twins – remember Sita aur Geeta, Ram aur Sham, Chalbaaz – had just begun. The mother was in labor and was twisting, turning, and shrieking, total bollywood style. At this point I happened to mention to my colleague that in Hindi films, the midwife is always childless herself. What a cliche! As if on a cue, the midwife (Shobha Khote) tells her husband that she’d like to keep one of the twins for herself and when the husband says that would be cheating, she responds:

Taqdeer ne humare saath bhi toh dokha kiya hai.

Man, was I in splits. That is why I love bad Hindi movies so much. They are so cliche that it is huge fun. This conversation got me thinking about my favorite Hindi movie cliche:

1. A mother shown in labor will die promptly after delivery.
2. A woman about to be raped will be dressed in a saree. It is no fun to yank off a dinner jacket, is it?
3. If there is a rape scene, it has to be raining. Does the crime rate go up in monsoon? Um…but then going by this theory crime rate in Delhi should be zero.
4. The rapist has to take off his shirt before he starts kissing cleavage. Okay, enough about rape scenes!
5. Presence of a small temple in all hospitals. The doctor stands in front of the deity when telling the patient’s relative, ”enhe dava ki nahi, dua ki zaroorat hai.”
6. Sab theek ho jayega.
7. The sexy bombshell switching to Indian attire when parents refuse to let her marry the man of her dreams. Have you ever seen a Hindi film heroine singing a sad song in a skirt?
8. The hero/heroine walking into a temple and saying, “Bhagwan, maine tum se aaj tak kuch nahi manga…” Really?!
9. If a pregnant woman walks up the stairs, she slips.
10. The day the mother makes her son’s favorite dessert, he dies.

I love the 90s!


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