there’s something about milk

It is the most vile liquid God invented and then forgot to add a little poison, so it could not be labeled inedible. On second thoughts, it may not have been invented by God at all. I think it must have been Devil’s job. It is this smelly white stuff that mothers all over the world love to feed their kids. The gullible ones think that mothers know best, and train themselves to like the taste of the gross white thing.

But I was smarter than that. I knew from the very first day that my parents were trying to cheat me into drinking the horrid white stuff and I put up a big fight. I have tried everything from spitting a mouthful of the disgusting white stuff like a water hosepipe straight to my dad’s face to sneaking to the kitchen to drain the glass. But they never gave up, those terrible parents of mine.

Somewhere around the age of 12 when I realized that the whole “There is a kid in Somalia who just died because his mother had no money to buy her milk” although was used to send me guilt-tripping but was not entirely untrue, I stuck a deal with my mother in one of her vulnerable moments.

I would drink a full glass of milk every morning without making faces or whining, if she stopped forcing me  to drink some when I finished school.

She may have hoped that I’d forget but the day I returned from taking my final board exam in class XII (it was Accounting paper!), I declared that the time had come.

Amazingly, she kept her word. The gentle prodding and mild suggestions also faded with passing time and I was able to successfully cut the white stuff out of my life…

Then I got married.

Now, I have a new mom. She too likes to force the kids into drinking milk and her success with her two impressionable kids has made her stronger advocate of the vile white stuff. So she tries and even succeeds at times. She is more organized than the first mom; she cuts articles from newspapers for me to see how important the calcium (which arguably can be found in the vile white stuff) is for a woman’s body.

But I am going to buy myself a cute little doggie tin of Calcium Sandoz next time she is around.


2 Responses to “there’s something about milk”

  1. i hate milk too!scorp thing u reckon?

  2. I know that you are no fan of milk and mostly you avoid it. But the fact that you hate it to this extent, is new to me! Believe me, if you dont boil it, there is no smell. But this is just for your knowledge. I am no way trying to convince you to drink it. But I am a tad unhappy hearing this..perhaps because i love it to bits.

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