Where I review a movie I did not watch

There are some movies information about which refuses to stick to my otherwise very interested brain. De Dana Dan is one of those films. I lost interest in it the moment I first heard about it as my brain auto switches off the moment you utter the names Akshay Kumar, Suniel Shetty, and Paresh Rawal in the same breath. But then someone told me that this movie was shot in Singapore and they could spot all the places they had seen here during their 15 day trip last year. So I decided to stream the film last night just for cheap thrills.

True to what my informant had said, the movie does give you a tour of the entire island with everything from Pan Pacific hotel, Clarke Quay restaurants, Millennia Walk mall (which is owned by the screaming Archana Puran Singh) , Fusionopolis (which happens to be my husband’s office in real life and Archana Puran Singh’s in reel life), to CBD, Vivo City and ECP. So apart from my cheap thrills out of spotting these places, everything else was terrible.

Of course, one has no expectations from Priyadarshan’s repeated attempts to make yet another Hera Pheri. The movies have a set template of a large number of characters and resulting confusion and a chase sequence to wrap things up. So I was not even looking for a story when I sat down to watch the film. I did not complain when the movie began with a tremendously feeble logic of Akshay Kumar having to work for the screaming Archana Puran Singh to pay back the loan for his education. Apparently it never occurred to anyone that paying back would be way quicker if the educated guy took up a job other than running after the screaming lady’s dog. I did not even whine when the girls got introduced by the way of a completely forgettable song as the “rich girlfriends.” But what  irked me was the unpleasantness of the film.

Here I am watching a supposedly comic film and every character that comes on screen is obnoxious. This includes the two leading men in the story. There is absolutely nothing likable about Akshay and Suniel’s characters. They both scream and shout, are racist, have no ethics, are horrid to their rich girlfriends, and have zero sympathy of the audience. All other characters are equally unlikeable, be it the comedians or the villains. I was especially shocked when Tinu Anand hits his wife for asking “what is wrong?” and it is treated most lightly in the film as a supposed comic sequence. I had to concur with the aghast husband of mine when he said the movie promotes domestic violence. Not to forget the extremely appalling characters played by Shakti Kapoor and Asrani. Kapoor is a rich old man who makes it a habit to marry or bed (whichever is more convenient) young girls using his wife’s (the original one, who is old and fat now, obviously) money. Asrani plays a hit man of some sort who is supposedly Chinese because he wears the funny Chinese hat that even the men of Qing Dynasty would not have been caught dead in. Worst of all, everyone yells; I have no idea when did yelling become synonymous with comedy. All of this and more nonsense made us forward the film to get to the scene where the Pan Pacific gets flooded with water, but ultimately we gave up for the sake of our eardrums.

I wasted forty precious minutes of my Sunday but I have learnt my lesson. Some movies are not even worth streaming. But somehow they make enough money to persuade the makers to continue churning out such trash year after year.

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One Response to “Where I review a movie I did not watch”

  1. Haven’t watched it yet. Thanks for saving me 🙂
    Which Web site do you use to stream? Bhejafry seems to have removed all movies…

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