Preferences – Part 8

Continued from part 7.

February 11th, 7 pm

The bookshelf is all done. I painted it in lime color, and I love its slanting shelves. I am pretty sure the curious business man will like it too.

I finished it an hour ago but I do not what to do. I do not want to go home. C asked me to join him for dinner but after this morning’s conversation, I do not know what I am doing anymore. What will I gain if I drag C to the church and drop him at the aisle like a hot potato? Will it make my earlier humiliation go away? Will it make me more confident about myself?

God! What will I say to JJ when I go home?

He was furious, by the way. He was furious when I asked him to marry me instead of that Cin. He said that I had to stop sacrificing myself for my friends and that I should worry about only one person, myself. He thought I was doing it for him.

I was doing it for him, true. But I was also doing it for myself.

Sun would disagree but I think there is such a thing as companionship, which is far more important than a passionate marriage. I love JJ and I know he will never love me the same way, but he likes me. Loves me, even, in a certain way. I can tell by the way he cares for me and I think, that is enough for two people to be happy.

Now, if he has the balls to stand up and tell the world that he is going to be with Mr. T, fine. I will never utter a word, but he has made it pretty clear that he is doing no such thing.

Oh God, C is here. Got to go.

February 12th, 1 am

Lately, all my entries begin with my head spinning. When did my life become so happening?

I refused to have dinner with C, so he decided to drive me home. On the way home he bragged about his forthcoming presentation and how my house-mate JJ did not stand a chance. He said that only person who could beat his design for the museum was the retired architect San. Renowned architect San who left the country few years back and no one knows his whereabouts.

I do not even know what to say. All these months that we were together, when I stupidly assumed that C loved me, and I opened my heart to him, he wasn’t even listening. Because if he had paid half a mind to my woes and to my shattered childhood dreams, he would have known that architect San is my father.

I got off the car after I told him what I thought of him. I told him it was over between us, revenge, fake-romance, everything. I do not want to see his face again.

He followed me home and kept banging at the door. JJ was not home, thankfully. I must sleep now, so I can wake early and sneak out before JJ comes for breakfast.

February 12th, 1:30 pm

Had lunch with the curious business man again today. The big presentation for the museum is coming Monday, and he is busy with the arrangements and last minute meetings with the other directors. So he wanted a chilled out lunch, hence he asked me to join. This is what he said. I am not bragging.

Since he brought up the subject, I could not help but mention what C told me last night in the car. Apparently, the curious business man does not care much about C and his father’s architect firm.
“They are not artists, they are businessmen,” he said. I think he knows about the rivalry between JJ’s and C’s families. Interestingly, he added that if father had agreed to take up the museum project, no one else would stand a chance. So C was right about that much.

February 12th 4:45 pm

This cannot go on like this. I am going to shop for dinner on my way home, cook a nice meal and then face JJ over it.

February 13th 1:15 am

JJ is stupid.

I cannot read his mind, you know. He seemed to like the idea that I made him dinner. We used to do it every alternate night until last week and he liked it. But his mood changed swiftly. Soon as I broached the subject of Cin and his probable marriage. He asked me to mind my own business.

So I sat there eating my clear soup and minding my own business. Out of the blue, he started to thank me. He thanked me first, then he apologized, for what I do not know.

He said I will find it out in due time and he told me not to trust people easily. So I told him that C and I were over and how it happened. I thought it would cheer him up, considering he never really approved of the revenge plan. But it made his mood worse.

Later he helped me wash the dishes, and when we were almost done, he said he had to work late tonight. So I offered to make him coffee.

When I left the coffee on his work table and turned around to come to my room, he said “C is right. Nothing but your father’s designs can win the heart of the curious business man. But designs inspired by your fathers also stand a chance.”

I really hope I misunderstood this. Please, let this be my imagination.

February 13th, 9 pm

Why am I still at work? Because I cannot go back home when my legs wobble like jelly and heart thumps like a mad octopus. Wait, does that even mean anything?

I was planning to leave for home after I left the receipts of material payments in Kim’s office when I saw Kim and C walking towards me. Kim’s hello was a sarcastic remark about how I had lost C all over again, and for once I did not want to correct her. C, however, stopped me. He barred me from exiting the corridor by blocking the exit and I began fuming.

He started to talk about JJ, which made me angrier. He called JJ a crook and a thief, but he never explained what he had stolen (except my heart, but there is no way C knows about that!) and then he asked me to snap out of it. He said that I was acting unlike myself and it was all JJ’s fault. By now, I was really mad.

I do not know how it happened, but my hand flew up and hit his cheek. Really hard. It stunned me. Apparently, it stunned C and Kim too. But I was still livid, so I had to shout “How dare you talk such rubbish about the man I love?” and pushed him away from the exit and I found myself standing face to face with the curious businessman and, hold your breath, JJ!

This time I was sure I was going to faint, and just on that cue, JJ put his arms around my waist and that is why I did not end up on curious business man’s shiny floor. He was smiling, I saw, just before I felt JJ’s lips close on mine.

To be concluded in Part 9.


One Response to “Preferences – Part 8”

  1. […] Continued from part 8. […]

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