Preferences – Part 7

Continued from part 6.

February 10th, 2 pm

I have been sick to my stomach for the past few days. Every time I see JJ, my knees turn to jelly and this is proving to be a huge problem considering, he lives in my house. Very inconveniently, he has been spending an awful lot of time at home too. He works from his room, endlessly drawing things on his fancy tablets. I remember how father used to draw with his different pencils on the paper, shading and sketching, no one does that any more, I suppose.

Last evening when I got home, he was sitting in the backyard, gazing into the sky with his tablet poised on his lap. When he looked up and smiled, I could feel a chill running down my spine.

Arrgh. Better go out with C today and get moving on my revenge plan!

February 10th, 11 pm

My head is spinning. God!! What just happened!?

I had a terrible evening with C, where he was full of himself as usual and in the end, I left him talking on phone to Kim about some legal papers. They are not sure whether they are legally married or not, they do not want to take any chances. Gosh, the two fools.

I walked home to find a stranger, extremely sophisticated lady, standing at my doorstep. She was emitting an aura like a queen; let me tell you about it. She wore the most magnificent chocolate brown tailored trousers and jacket, and she wore a Chanel pendant that I saw SJP wearing in the latest Sex and the City film. Her hair were like silver silk threads mixed with some black, pulled back and piled on top of her head. I stood there staring at her and then, all of a sudden, I knew who she was. She had to be JJ’s mother, because she was every bit as handsome as he.

I struggled to open the door and let her in, and she took a while to figure out that it was my house. Then, all hell broke loose. She called JJ, who came out of his room, hair tousled and all. I think he was asleep. (What is up with his bizarre schedule these days?) His mother, apparently, did not know that he was staying in my house. But what surprised me was that his mother lives in the same town!! She lives right here, in my city. Why is JJ living in my house then? She asked him the exact question and he said that this place was close to his workplace and gave him the peace and quiet to work on his presentation.

His mother was livid, while I did not buy this. Ok, closer to his office, agreed but quiet? He spends half of the day chasing after me to clean up, and the rest half, we fight. He was lying, I am sure he was lying. But hey, I have not reached the best (worst!) part yet.

I now know where JJ gets his stubbornness from. His mother put her foot down, and ordered him to pack his suitcase. My heart stopped beating, of course. She never paid a single bit of attention to me all this time. JJ refused to budge; he sat on the edge of the futon, looking unbothered, until she dropped the bomb.

“Alright then,” she said in an icy voice, “I will invite Cin over next week and we can start discussing your wedding date.”


This all caps shouting was inside my head. But it also got to JJ, he looked extremely uncomfortable and that is when I lost my patience. It is my house, after all. OK, so I know JJ has made me promise repeatedly that I will not talk about his sexual orientation publically, but this is in the privacy of my house and someone’s mother is not considered public.

So I decided to speak. At first, his mother did not hear me. Then she turned, furrowing her elegant brow.

“You cannot marry this Cin guy, JJ!” That was I.


“What did she say?” This was his mother.

“Err..he cannot marry this Cin, madam.” I went on boldly, “He loves Mr. T.”

“SHUT UP” This was our dear JJ.

“No, I will not.”

“Yes, I want to hear what your lady friend has to say, JJ. Since when do you plan to marry your childhood friend? I am very curious.”

“Shut up, and go to your room.” Dear JJ, again.

“Don’t talk to me like that, I am not a child. You cannot hide the most important truth of your life from your mother. Madam, your son likes Mr. T.”

Icy voice suddenly sounded amused, “I hope he does, considering they are friends and work partners. But, he will marry Cin, and she will be here next week.”


With that JJ pushed me, physically pushed me out of the room. He shut the door behind my back and I was so mad that I was trembling. I came to my room and I cried. Yes, I cried a lot. Because it hurts. It hurts because I am in love with a guy who does not like girls.

I have accepted the fact that my love is doomed but my friendship is still precious to me. I would not stand aside while my friend goes ahead and ruins his life.

Gosh, why won’t these silly tears stop.

February 11th, 11 am

Got into work late today. Although the curious business man wouldn’t notice or care as long as I finish the bookshelf by this evening, Kim made a snarky comment as I got in. But she is least of my problems right now.

This morning, I could not wake up. I kept snoozing the alarm and then I felt something on my forehead. A soft, warm touch. I wanted to keep my eyes shut tightly, just in case this was a dream that would end if I opened my eyes. But then I heard his voice, he called my name.

My eyes flew open and I made a complete fool of myself by jumping out of the bed, blanket and all. I did not want him to see me in my jammies, which had juice all over its front. (I ran out of beer, so I ODed on OJ last night. Shoot me.)

He sat there, without a smile, looking at me. My first thought was that he was mad at me but then I remembered I am the one who was mad. At him. So I lectured him on how he must tell his mother about his inclination and he should be proud of who he is, of his identity. He heard me out, patiently and then he said, how come I never thought like this about myself. He said that my revenge plan was stupid and I was fooling myself. It was as if he was coming right from Sun’s house. In the end, he told me that he cannot tell his mother, so if push comes to shove, he will marry.

That is when I almost fainted. In the hindsight, I wish I had truly fainted, and then I would not have opened my big mouth. My head was swimming and it was my heart that did the talking, I swear, it was not me who said, “If you have to marry a girl, marry me.”


One Response to “Preferences – Part 7”

  1. […] Continued from part 7. […]

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